Where There's Smoke

 Your dog has no idea where their fresh water comes from. They just know that when their throat is feeling a little parched, or if they need a drink to wash down some kibble, or if they’re just bored, they saunter to the water dish and it’s filled with fresh, clean, cool water with which to slake their thirst. (Or water with ice, if your dog is particularly spoiled/loved). The expression of joy bordering on ecstasy on the face of your favorite pup after they drink illuminates the room. They went to their dish, lapped up some refreshment, and they turn to you with such an expression of bliss as to say, “I cannot believe how amazing the world is and how fortunate I am that I am blessed to have been able to partake in such a magical life moment!” Or words to that effect. Their response is not to run over to hug your leg and say, “Thank you, dear friend, for having done such a kind and wonderful thing for me!” It is simple joy and gratitude that the water (with ice) was there. Yum! The...

Granted, these are Seven stupid 7hings.   But ladies, if you want to know what goes through that tiny brain of your man, read on. 1.   “Damn…six more months to go until football season”:    Ladies, men care about three things.   Football, food...and Valentine’s day is not the third one. 2.   “What’s the least amount of time, money, and effort I can put into this and still get laid?”:   …and there you go.   For those wondering what the third thing is, here it is. 3.   “I wonder what she’s getting me ?”:   You’re lucky she lets you hang around with her, you cretin.   Valentine’s day is her day, not yours.   I’m sure it was invented by the first man who witnessed childbirth firsthand and understood that menstruation was a monthly event.   Don’t bitch about her not getting you chocolates.   We definitely got the better end of this deal, fellas. 4.   “The flowers at the grocery store are a quarter ...