Dear Florida

Dear Florida, It’s not you, it’s me.
I think we’ve both known for a long time that this day was coming. We got together twenty-seven years ago and it has never been a good fit. Even though we reunited after my six-month relationship with Alabama and my year with Tennessee, we both knew it wasn’t going to last.
I mean, you did know that…right?
You have people flocking to you so I know you’ll be fine without me. In fact, you’ll probably not even notice I’m gone.
As I said, it’s me. I was just never able to adjust to all the things that make you uniquely you. Some people love the feeling of breathing liquid air and discovering sand deep inside various recesses three days after visiting the beach. I’m just not one of them.
Oh, sure, you have certain charm. Some parts of you are breathtaking, like your Emerald Coast beaches. The water is actually green! But to be fair, that’s not really you; it’s just the area around you.
And that I think is the real issue. You have a great reputation but there’s…

Something About Mary

Riding up the elevator at work today a friend asked me, “So…how’s married life?” “It sucks.” She looked momentarily startled. Clearly not the response she was expecting. “Um..OK. Why?” “Because we live a thousand miles apart!” Clearly that minor detail has had some adverse impact on the overall marital experience. Obviously being married to Diane doesn’t suck. I love her very much and we grow closer every day. Well, emotionally and spiritually, that is. The physical distance hasn’t diminished one iota. We love each other very much and could not be happier to be married. But the reality is that following our wedding we essentially returned to our respective pre-nuptial lives. We were married in a beautiful ceremony (thank you, Suzi!) in an idyllic setting (thank you, Susan!) surrounded by family and friends, some who travelled 12,000 miles (literally…thank you, Nick and Della) and some whose presence was simultaneously surprising and greatly appreciated (thanks, Mom). Following our wedding day…

Dear Brady: “What’s so special about Diane?”

My youngest son, Brady, has a way of cutting to the heart of things. After recently returning home to Anchorage from the top of planet Earth (north slope of Alaska), he saw the announcement that Diane and I were engaged. As a son concerned that perhaps his old Dad had gone soft in the head, he wanted to know why I would want to marry again after the disastrous ending of my previous marriage.
Specifically, he wanted to know, “What’s so special about Diane?”
So for Brady and for anyone else who may be wondering but who haven’t had the guts to ask, let me try to explain.

Dear Brady, Hope all is well with you there at the top of Earth. It is at this time of year when I can really identify with the harshness of the climate in which you live. While it’s 7° in Anchorage, it’s 42° here in Florida. It’s like we’re weather twinsies.
So you asked me what’s so special about Diane that I would want to marry her, given the craziness of the past year and a half. Good question. Fair question. Let me back …