Writers Don't Surf!
Writers are faced with
seemingly innumerable distractions, life stuff that comes between the ideas
blowing across the barren wasteland of our minds and the words that somehow magically
appear on our computer screens.
But the single greatest impediment to this successful thought transfer is the Internet.
This is a documented
fact. I know because I just documented
it. And it may even be true (though
that’s not likely).
In fact, my dear friend[1]
Chuck Wendig even included Freedom Internet Blocking Productivity Software as NUMBER ONE on his
“Ten More Gifts for Writers (2013 Edition).”
Some blame Al Gore. Others blame Bill Jobs or Steve Gates or one of those other computer-box dudes.
Personally, I blame
Bush. Vannevar Bush. But that’s another story for another time.
 |
| Photo credit: MIT Technology Review |
The point is that the
Internet gets in the way of writing.
So I’ve come up with a
solution.
Mind you, this is not an
original solution. Untold numbers of
writers have already used this gimmick as blog fodder. And by “untold,” I mean “a lot and I’m too
lazy to get a real number”
It’s been said that if you
do something for twenty-one consecutive days, it becomes a habit. So theoretically, avoiding the Internet for
three weeks would break me of getting sucked down the vortex of dancing bunnies
and @KingBach’s Vines.
But, yeah…no. That’s not gonna happen. I’m a writer, not a hippy.
I do, however, believe that one week is possible and might create a
third of a habit. And as anyone who’s
ever gotten a halfsie over a slutty nun costume can attest, a third of a habit
can be pretty cool.
So as a means of becoming a
more effective and efficient professional writer-type dude, I will spend the
next seven days wholly and completely disconnected from the Internet.
I know what you’re
saying. “But Smokey Joe, how can you live
without being connected for a full week?”
“How will you ever be able to research the veracity of the stories about
Al Capone visiting Johnson City, TN?” “How
will you know the point spread of the NFL conference championship games?” “How will we know if you’re a lying, cheating
fink?”
To these people I say
this: Shut up[2].
Instead, I will read words
on paper, write more words on other paper, and not bet on this week’s NFL Conference
Championship games[3].
So wish me luck, faithful
readers (thanks, Mom), as I launch out on my 2014 Freedom From the Internet-a-palooza For One Week Tour: Revenge of My Library.
XOX,
Smokey Joe
LEGAL NOTICE: I hereby reserve the right to violate this implicit contract between readers of this blog (again, thanks Mom) and the author in the event I come up with a really witty Tweet about farts.
[1] By “dear friend” I mean I met Chuck
once at the 2012 Crossroads Writers Conference and I follow him on Twitter (@ChuckWendig). I’m pretty sure he has no idea who I am.
[2] Translation: I have no idea.
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